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While I look like I’m frolicking in the garden with ducks and puppies I am a chronic over-thinker.
“?????-????????” is the easiest way to describe this – lots of different projects, tasks, new ideas, worries all spinning around in my head.
Some of them are creative, some of them are unnecessary worries I have no control over which are taking up energy. Overthinking, creates unnecessary stress and anxiety, it effects my mood and impacts on my sleep and overall health.
I have made significant improvements over the last few years so I thought I would share my tips on how to quiet your mind if your like me. Particularly with lockdown going on, we have a lot of time… to fill with overthinking!
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I tend to over-think everything from small decisions to big decisions. Simple things like: What I name the cat? took me 2 weeks to decide on. Which outside job do I do today – and while I’m doing that one job I’ll be thinking about all the other jobs I’m not doing!! How do I decorate this room or what do I put in this empty space? Its easier for me to not make a decision at all, because I feel the decision I make needs to be “perfect” – therefore I avoid committing to a choice.
I also found I was spending energy and working myself up worrying about things which we entirely outside of my control. But then I realised than even if X happened I can’t do anything about it, even if Y happened I can’t do anything about it.
I was worrying about a “Ball” that wasn’t in my court -no matter what way it bounced, I had zero control to change the situation. I then considered all the other “balls” which were on my mind, and again there were a few in there that I actually couldn’t do anything about no matter what way it played out. ???????? ?????? ?????????????!!
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#? ? ??????? ?? ???? ? ????? ??????? – not one about feelings / thoughts, one with a list. Usually on Monday – I will write out a list of tasks that I am responsible for doing for the next few days. AT the end of working day, I tick off those that are action, and I write down anything new thats in my head or cross off things which are no longer needed.
Its out of my head / on paper. ??’? ??? ??? ?? ??????? it down ????? is ???????, not the outcome.
#? ? ???? ???????? ???? ?????????? ?????’? ???? ?? ?? ???? ?????. Since we’ve moved to Wexford I have focused a lot on being ok with not doing everything today. I will do my days works and then stop and start again tomorrow.
There will always be work to do. I consider “work” as anything which needs to be different to how it currently is now, emails in my inbox, things to do on the website, new LD projects, things to do in the house, bills / paperwork / life admin, things I need to book / buy etc anything which requires some action from me to progress.
#? ?????? ??? ????. I don’t need to do everything myself, ask for help or hire help. Focus on your strengths – I am really good at X, Y, Z – maybe they are individual skills, no-one else can really do. If there are things I’m doing that are on my mind and someone else could do them, ask them or pay them to do those things – bookkeeping, cleaning, cutting the lawn, washing the windows etc.
#? ?????? ??????? ??????. Water break, food break, nature break, hang out the laundry break. Focus on the task, take a break, repeat.
#? ????? / ??????? / ?????? “????? ????*”– I see this as non-negotiable stress management – I do a little bit daily, something bigger once a month, and something bigger one a year.
My daily least mode is playing some scrabble, make some jigsaw, play with the dog, watch something on Disney / Netflix – usually free / very low cost.
Monthly leastmode, might be some act of selfceare, having my nails done, a facial, a massage, going for lunch with a friend. Some cost to this usually.
Year leastmode might be a new course, a new hobby, a trip away, 2-3 days – something a little more expensive, downtime for me – I did a 2 day art course one year, a spa break, 2 days of yoga, simple staycation and checking out the local tourist spots (Giants Causeway etc)
(*Leastmode is a Trademark of the @MuscleNerds)
#? ?????? – as much as possible. I tend to feel very calm, relaxed and at ease when you can hear the birds and have grass under your feet. I find I make much better decisions, and I have a cleaner focuses to be able to get on with my day when I take the time to have a country walk or simply drink my coffee in the garden.
#? ??????? – I began to realise how important food and fuel was on my body, my energy and my focus. I realised I could be more focused and productive mentally and physically when I ate well and drank plenty of water. So every time I needed to eat I took the opportunity to cook something nutritious.
#? ??????? ?? ??????? – I go to an alternative therapist monthly or every few months, to help me organise the thoughts and emotions in my head. I see this like a clear out. She helps me talk through the things which are on my mind – I remove things which are worrying me unnecessarily, and leave only the things which I can actually do something about. Its like making space for creative and positive actions.
She helps me put some plates away!!
If anyone has any other useful tips for quieting you mind or if you use any of the above and find them helpful please let me know??
Kate
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